Friday, March 13, 2009

My Dreams Came True

It's completely true. For as long as I can remember, the only thing I ever really wanted to be was a wife and a mom. Sure, I can go to college and get a degree and waste my time (not saying that I think college is a bad idea, I'm just saying that it was never where I saw myself going) ... but why do that when I know I'm going to be a stay-at-home mom forever. It was the desire of my heart and I knew that it was going to be true. This is why, when I was 21, single and working a job that hardly paid anything, I was baffled at how my plan had gone wrong! Why would my heart so strongly desire to be a homemaker when the reality of it seemed so far away that there was no chance I was going to reach it?

The one thing I continually leaned on was the verse in the Bible that says God will give you the desires of your heart. I heard a sermon right around age 21 that really stuck with me - that God gives you the desires of your heart because He has placed those desires within you. Granted, I'm not talking about material things or anything that does not go with the will of God, I'm talking about those things deep inside of you that you are so very passionate about. Being a wife and a mom was one of those things for me - the other was working in youth ministry. God granted the second really quickly, and I have had the privilege of working in several youth groups and being involved in the lives of many teens (and hopefully making an impact in their lives, too!). The youth ministry I had been involved in has been just awesome, and I was continually thanking God for it - though I was still asking one question: WHERE IS MY FUTURE HUSBAND?! Wasn't this part of His plan, too?! C'mon God ... I'm growing impatient.

For awhile, I sought out relationships, fully taking control of the situation into my own hands. I figured, God MUST have put these men in my life for me to see if I can marry them, right? WRONG. It wasn't until I gave up completely - relinquished all control of my love life to God - that the man of my dreams walked into my life and I fell in love to a degree that I had never known love. It was when I stopped looking for love that God planted it right in front of me and gave me no option but to unconditionally love.

Here I am almost a year later, 25 years old, married to this absolutely phenomenal man. I now know the reality of unconditional love and believe that, through my relationship with my husband, I am learning more deeply about the love that God has for me. On top of all of this, I have been given the most amazing gift of being able to stay home and care for my four step-children and to be an impactful part of their lives.

When I look at all of this, I realize one thing: God made my dreams come true and He gave me the desires of my heart. What an amazing Savior I serve!
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