The other day something major happened to me. You see, due to the construction going on, I am forced to park my Suburban in the yard at the end of my driveway (as to allow room in my driveway for all of the construction vehicles). It should also be said that my new parking spot is located on a hill. A very icy hill.
So, the other day I had just arrived back at home from running errands and parked in my new usual spot. I put the truck in park, applied the parking break and exited the vehicle. I helped Colin out of the backseat and held his hand while walking down the hill to ensure he wouldn't fall. Once he was safely on the driveway, I asked him to go up to the house while I got the bags out of the back of the Suburban (he's kind of putzy, so getting up to the house takes quite a bit of time for him!). Meanwhile, I headed to my mailbox and picked up the mail and proceeded back to the Suburban to get the bags out of the back end. Due to how icy the hill is, I had to brace myself against a patch of snow while leaning on the truck to ensure that I wouldn't fall! I opened the rear door and was in the process of loading the shopping bags on my arms when I suddenly realized that the truck was sliding backwards down the hill! Due to the extreme iciness of the hill, I, too, was sliding with it. My heart jumped up into my throat and I did everything I could to hold onto the truck as to not be pulled under it. In the heat of the moment, an expletive (which I don't care to expand on) slipped out of my mouth as my heart raced faster and faster. The truck pushed me back into a patch of snow where I was able to get my footing and run out of the way, shopping bags still hanging from my arms. Once I was safely in the driveway, I watched as the truck slid backwards approximately three feet before coming to a stop shortly before my driveway.
Trying to get a grasp on my ever increasing heart rate, I put the bags down on the driveway and walked toward the truck. I shut the rear door and jumped out of the way in anticipation of this causing movement of the truck again. Thankfully, it stayed where it was. I got back into the drivers seat (heart racing uncontrollably at this point), started the truck, released the parking break and pulled the truck further up the hill into the snowbank. As I put it in park and applied the parking break yet again, the truck slid back about a foot. Thankfully, it found a resting spot and stayed solidly there. I did everything I could to shake the truck, to make it move again, but it was stuck in place (which was a blessing!).
So, I picked up my bags and went to meet Colin on our front deck. We went inside, I made him lunch and laid him down for a nap. It was then, during my quiet time, that I was able to process the events that had just happened. My heart rate was finally slowing down and I was thanking God for allowing a way out for me. Then I began to recall the events just as they happened and it dawned on me that an expletive had slipped from my mouth. An expletive! Holy moly. This very thing shook me up almost more than the moving truck incident had. You see, in both Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:45 it says, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." As I pondered that more and more, my heart began to ache. If an expletive is what came from my mouth in the midst of a crisis, does that mean that that is truly what is the abundance of my heart?
No, I really don't think it is. I think I am a human who erred big time with that one word. I'm grateful for my Father in Heaven who has forgiven me for this, because I have asked Him to. Now I ask that you all forgive me, as well. I felt like such a dork after it happened and still kind of do, but I do also know that there is no one who is perfect except our Father in Heaven.
Lord, thank You for Your forgiveness. Work on my heart. Melt and mold me into the woman that You have designed me to be. I love You.