Tuesday, August 3, 2010

A Letter to MWOP Readers

For those who are unaware, MWOP (MckMama Without Pity) is a blog that was created to "expose the lies" that blog readers feel MckMama is telling.  While I have never been a follower of this blog, I have been directed to it a couple of times, as a few of my friends had mentioned via email that I was being discussed in the comments by readers of MWOP.  Today, after the birth of MckMama's fifth child, I was horrified at some of the things that were being said, and thus, this letter was formed.

Dear MWOP Readers,

I don't know you, and it's very likely that you don't know me, but considering the fact that the topics of your discussion have involved me and have involved things that are dear to my heart, I'm feeling that it's time to speak up and set some things straight.  In the few times that I have visited your blog I have witnessed countless attacks against MckMama for things she has said or done that don't line up in your mind.  While I would prefer to remain a background image and not stick my neck out there, some things have been said that absolutely need to be corrected, and thus I am raising my voice and saying them.

First, yes, I am MckMama's former neighbor.  I still live up the street from their lake home that was foreclosed on.  It has been mentioned that people assume that Jennifer and I are no longer friends because they foreclosed on their home at the same time that my husband and I were trying to sell our home, and because of their actions I must be "pissed" at them.  While I will admit that my husband and I were disappointed to see them allow their home to be foreclosed on, it wasn't anything that generated those assumed feelings of hatred.  Yes, our home was up for sale at that time and, while some interest was shown by potential buyers, we decided in the end that the heart of our family is still right here where we live, and it made more sense for us to invest the money that we'd saved into putting an addition on our current home and make it more functional than to uproot our family into a new home.  Our decision had nothing to do with the market effect that naturally happened because of their foreclosure, but had everything to do with the best interest of our family.

I have also seen mention of the fact that I have removed Jennifer's blog from my blogroll and the assumption was made that we just must not be friends anymore.  I can't really tell you why I removed her from my blogroll, because I don't specifically have a reason for that - I guess I just felt that it was the right thing to do, as I wasn't an avid reader of her blog anymore.  However, I don't blame our friendship dissolving on anything but the natural parting of ways when they moved.  Yes, they moved to a home that is only about one mile from my sister's home (whom I visit rather frequently), and we have gotten together a couple of times since they moved, but taking into account the fact that she has five young children and I have four children (with number five on the way), our schedules are seemingly too busy to make it work out for us to get together.  Guess what?  That's okay!  It was easier for us to maintain a friendship when we were neighbors because of our close proximity, but I'm not crushed over the fact that, as mothers, we are both too busy to maintain that friendship.  I don't dislike her, I don't disrespect her ... it's just a friendship that fizzled and faded away.

More than anything I want to clear up the assumptions that are continually made that "Stellan wasn't as sick as MckMama made it appear".  It bothers me that people have the gumption to make a statement like that.  I saw the pain that Jennifer went through as her precious babe was hospitalized time after time and I saw how it tore her up to have to be dealing with that.  I visited Stellan in the PICU at Children's once while driving Israel's mom up there (though I left within 10 minutes of arrival, since immediate family members are the only ones who are supposed to be there) and I guarantee you that the severity of his illness was not something that she dramatized.  I hate that people have it in them to throw out assumptions like that, stating that she only wants money and gifts and she feeds off the praises of her "sheeple".  It takes me to a place of frustration with all bloggers and makes me wonder if anybody is as genuine as they present themselves to be.  If we are so much better than she, why is it that we have all the time in the world to spend on this blog and bash her?

Today of all days can you just back off for awhile?  Allow her to enjoy the feeling of being a new mom again, allow her to revel in the beauty of her newest son, allow her to post whichever pictures of him she feels like and don't criticize her for the ones that she chooses!!  I encourage you to take a hard look at what you're doing and find a better outlet for yourself; go spend more time with your own children, take up a new hobby or just walk away from the computer and find something better to do.  When we sit on this side of the computer screen and jump to conclusions about someone, it makes us no better or worse than that person ... it just makes us snarky women, and no matter what you can say, that doesn't look good on anyone.

" ... he who is without sin among you, let them throw a stone at her first." - John 8:7b

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