I never knew that motherhood was going to be this involved. I will admit to my sheer naivety about becoming a mother to an infant. My assumption was that there weren't many things in my life that were going to change, but that they were just going to take a little bit longer. While this may be true for some things, it is certainly not true for others! Somehow, while I absolutely knew that getting up multiple times per night was going to leave me longing for a full night of sleep, somehow I didn't really grasp the totality of the feeling until it actually came to me.
*Photo courtesy of my husband, Monte, who snapped this one evening after I had fallen asleep holding Ethan. I found out about the picture when I logged onto my Facebook account the next day and saw this picture on there! :)
I love this little boy so much, I just can't get enough of him! I can't seem to have enough hours in the day to do what I need to do because all I want to do is hold him, cuddle him, sing to him, change him and love on him. He is my amazing blessing from God, and I am forever grateful to Him for the gift of baby Ethan.
My life has been changed forever, and I love it. I wouldn't change it back for anything.
I'm quickly realizing something, though. I'm realizing that my baby requires a bit more attention than I anticipated. Granted, he has been dealing with what his pediatrician believes to be acid reflux (though I'm not sure that's all that it is), so it makes him uncomfortable. ALL.THE.TIME. My sweet little baby boy doesn't sit still for very long before he starts to grunt and groan. It seems like he's pushing with all of his might to get some of the gas in his tummy to move and it just doesn't work. I've become accustomed to these sounds, so they don't cause me to jump up instantly like they used to, but they're still just not right.
Today my sister and her daughter came for a visit, and it was a wonderful relaxing time to have them here! Her little girl played with Colin, and Tanya and I spent some time reading magazines on the couch ("This Old House" and "Better Homes and Gardens" are two subscriptions that arrive at our house and it's usually quite awhile before we get to read them!) while baby Ethan was sleeping in his bouncer. Then it started: grunts. Repeated grunts. Then he added the groans. After awhile, his grunting and groaning escalated into a full cry. I think this is the first time that someone who doesn't live with us (besides my mother-in-law who is staying with us for a few weeks) heard his grunting and saw just how much attention my little bundle of joy requires. She saw how much he spits up .. what seems to be everything that he had just eaten. She heard him cry and saw just how much he needs to be held and comforted.
After talking to her about it, I'm realizing that there are some things in my life that I enjoy that I may have to temporarily give up .. things like attending my MOPs group. While I have a wonderful time at MOPs, it's just too hard to have my little guy there with me when he requires so much attention. Maybe it's a good thing for me to devote more time to just being a good mom and taking care of my baby instead of trying to rush out the door to make it to MOPs. Maybe. I'm still thinking this one through.
While sometimes I will admit to feeling a little bit overwhelmed by this new lifestyle, I am mostly overwhelmed with my desire to care for my baby, overwhelmed by my love for him and my drive to help him work through these gassy issues (and yes, we've tried a LOT of things already, Gripe Water being the most recent thing - and it really didn't have any effect on him beyond making his spit-up really slimy!). I'm okay with the thought of just being at home with him and Colin, making them my priority and focusing my attention on them. That's what I've been called to do, and for right now it is what I will do.
I never knew motherhood was going to be this involved, but I also wouldn't want to be less involved to any degree, because motherhood is one of the biggest blessings I've ever received!
Please don't forget to vote for my brother's beautiful baby girl in the Gerber baby contest. It's so easy to vote and takes only a few minutes and is something that is very important to me and my family. Will you please take just a moment to do so? To vote for Abby, click here.