Friday, May 13, 2011

Currently Unavailable

I just tried to log into Blogger, as I haven’t posted an update to my blog in awhile.  Upon clicking the link, I received a message stating “Blogger is currently unavailable.  We apologize for this interruption in service.”

So, here I am, writing out this blog post in Word with the intent to post it when Blogger becomes available again.  The irony of Blogger's unavailability is the fact that I feel like that could be MY status message lately.

“Kami is currently unavailable.  She apologizes for the interruption in one-on-one time.”

Life has been BUSY.  In a home with five children, this is never a new thing.  In the spring, however, our normal busy takes on a whole new level.  This spring Claire has been in softball, Iain has been in baseball and soccer, and Ellis has been in soccer.  To say that keeping up with our sports schedule can be overwhelming is a huge UNDERstatement.  Getting our kids to and from practices and games, arranging rides with other families when we have one too many things on the schedule, trying to feed them a nutritious meal before they leave the house (which almost never happens!), and trying to do that all while maintaining the eating and sleeping schedule of my five-year-old and my baby, well that’s just what life is about for us right now!

Coming from a woman who is used to having her kids home every night, having dinner at a specific time and enjoying family time together every day, this schedule is starting to wear on me!

The more I think about how I'm handling my schedule, the more I realize that I'm handling it all wrong.  Yes, I get my kids to their sports on time and either Monte or I are almost always there to watch their games.  The wrongdoing that I'm speaking of is my own doing: I have become so wrapped up in my own schedule and so wrapped up in getting everything "just right" that I have made myself Currently Unavailable to the One who brings peace into our hectic lives.

I have told God that I don't have time.

The irony in this is that I really DO have time.  Between feeding Ethan and reading "Star Wars" books to Colin, there is down time every afternoon.  Down time that used to be consumed with time in my Bible, time in prayer and communication to my Savior.  Now I'm feeling so stretched that I have taken that time as down time for myself.

More irony.  When you take God, the source of peace, out of your life, your down time is not so relaxing.

Lord, I'm sorry that once again I've tried to manage my family on my own.  I know that I need Your strength and Your love to move through me in order to be the wife and mother that You intended for me to be.  Please forgive me for leaving You behind and help me to take that step toward a right relationship with You again.  I love You, Lord.

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