Friday, August 24, 2012

Have you ever been in a position where something in your life is just 'off', or even wrong, and you want so desperately to fix it but yet you can't seem to move your foot to take that first step?

Or is that just me?!

I haven't updated my blog in ages.  Part of that is because I really have been busy, part is because I haven't had the motivation to do so, and part of it is because I've been afraid to be truly transparent with you.  You see, right now in my life I am struggling.  I am fighting an internal battle that I don't fully understand, which makes it difficult to express and explain to all of you.

My heart and my soul are screaming, desiring, begging me to indulge in a deeper relationship with my Creator.  Longing to go back to the woman I once was.  The woman who first sought after God, and everything else fell into place surrounding that.

The problem and the very thing stopping me from getting there is me.  Me and every factor living under the roof of my home.  There is always so much going on that it is so easy for me to make excuses.  We have sports all year long.  The kids have different school things going on.  We had friends over for dinner and they stayed late, so I just have to sleep in.  I just flat out don't feel like going to church.  Monte had a really busy day at work and it would be best if he could just relax at home.

In my head, it takes a lot of effort to get to church.  Ethan has separation anxiety, so dropping him off at the childcare is sometimes difficult - even when I know that his crying stops within just a few minutes and he does just fine without me.  In fact, I know that he plays and has fun while he's in childcare!  It's just those moments of tears when I drop him off and when I pick him up that make it hard.  Or maybe they don't make it hard at all, but maybe they just create an excuse for me.

I want to be the woman that I know I was five years ago.  I want to be the woman who puts her relationship with God before anything else.  The person I am right now - the mom who's patience wears thin and she snaps at her kids, the wife who is less understanding and loving that she sometimes should be, the one who yells - this isn't me.  This isn't my heart.

When I am at church I am me.  When I can open my heart and lay it at the throne of God - I am me.  I want the church-Kami to be the every-day-life-Kami.

Lord, I need you.  I am empty and dry.  Please fill my heart and soul to overflowing with You.  Please help me to make You a priority in my life.  I need You.  I so very desperately need You.  Help me to be the woman that You have called me to be.


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

A few weeks ago I wrote this post in which I shared that we had recently remodeled our kitchen.  I was feeling a bit hesitant in posting about it due to some negative feedback I had received from a random reader when posting about our home addition a couple of years ago.  After I had written the post a few weeks ago, however, I received so much wonderful feedback from you that I decided to go ahead and open the window of my blog up and share our renovation.

In keeping up with something that I started WAY too long ago and haven't kept up with it at ALL, I am including this as part of my "A Peek Into My Home"series.

I do have to give a few shout-outs to the people who helped Monte and me make this renovation a possibility!  A big thank-you to Stacy Klone from KitchenWerks for helping us to look at our space and figure out what would be best for the functionality of our home and for introducing us to the people who helped make it all a reality!!  We are so thankful to have been able to work with you and are absolutely thrilled with the final product!  One of the people Stacy introduced us to is Perry Charpentier from PJ's Home Improvement.  Perry did our cabinetry - building our new pantry, new cabinets and drawers, and my amazing spice rack in the kitchen.  I can't say enough good things about his work - Perry is an amazing craftsman and I will happily have him back if any further projects come up.  I am so completely thrilled with his work!  Finally, a big thank-you to Jayne Morrison from Jayne Morrison Interiors who helped us choose out our beautiful Cambria quartz counter tops, our new kitchen sink and our faucet.  Jayne is definitely gifted and we are happy to have been able to work with her!

So, without further adieu, here is our new (and incredibly awesome) kitchen!

This is the view of the kitchen when you're entering from the office/back hallway.

Here you will notice that our island is no longer two-heights (where previously, the back of it was bar-height to accommodate eating).  We removed the higher portion, expanded the cabinets beneath the counter to 24" and put one solid counter top on it.  Best. Idea. EVER.

This is our new built-in made by Perry.  I can't stress enough how phenomenal he is at what he does.  This piece is completely beautiful - and I must admit, I just LOVE having all the extra storage in the kitchen (instead of having my pantry in our basement like it previously was).

My camera lens isn't wide enough to capture this entire cabinet without moving the kitchen table, but the cabinet is so beautiful that I had to make sure you have the chance to see it all!

I can't help but stare at it ... it's just that beautiful! :)

This is our new kitchen table.  I have always wanted a round table, and with the expanded island and the new built-in pantry, we no longer had room for our rectangular table. So, we sold that table and purchased this one and I do not regret it for one moment.  This is such a fantastic piece of furniture!

Here you will notice the four drawers on the lower cabinets (they used to be cabinet doors with pull-out drawers inside of them - Perry made new drawers for us which has turned out to be SO much more convenient).  We also put in new quartz counter tops from Cambria.  I absolutely love them!  You will also notice the beautiful backsplash which my husband and our awesome friend, Chris, tiled together.  The backsplash was the last thing that we did in the kitchen and it brought the entire renovation to completion for me!

A glance into our kitchen from the lake-side living room.  I would have put the dishes away before taking this picture, but I figure that the fact that I have five kids means my kitchen is hardly ever this clean anyway, so why give you a fake image of us?!?! :)

Our island was moved six inches into the dining room and the back cabinets on it were expanded to 24 inches.  The counter top was made level and new counters were installed.

Isn't that backsplash just beautiful?!  Thank you honey and thank you Chris for all of your hard work!

This is our new faucet.  I never thought that choosing out a faucet would be a big deal, but evidently it really is!  We love this and are SO happy with our selection.

Don't you love the spice racks that Perry made and installed in our cabinet?  They make me so much more organized - even though this cabinet looks kind of insane!

That, my friends, is my new kitchen.  Please let me know when you're ready to come over and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea with me - I'm ready to host! :)