Tuesday, March 31, 2009

This is something I came across that my step-daughter, Claire, was going to post on my blog, but lost it before she posted. I recovered it today and decided it was something that needed to be posted. She wrote this on November 2, 2008 - before Monte and I were married. Here it is:

10 random facts about Kami

1. Her nose moves when she talks.

2. Her favorite season is Autumn, because of all the pretty colors and perfect weather.

3. As a child, her nickname was Goose.

4. When she was young, her dog Muffin got lethally bitten.

5. She is at Tanya Thom's home right now.

6. She likes to cook spaghetti.

7. She has a pair of pajamas with squirrels printed on them.

8. At a youth group she led, there was a disrespectful boy called Jeff. He never listened to anything she said; he also had an annoying habit of belching whenever she asked a question. One day, when he did the aforementioned sin, she bought a soda (the room they were meeting in had a vending machine residing in it), chugged it, and belched right back. From then on, she had his attention and respect.

9. Last I checked, her fave chewing gum brand is Orbit.

10. She just bought a Nintendo DS that is white with the Breast Cancer symbol on it.

He loves unconditionally. He is steadfast in life. He loves his family to the fullest and is always striving for new ways to bond with them and new things to play.

He believes in me and thus gives me the confidence to fully believe in myself. He supports me and encourages me.

He laughs with me and holds me when I cry. He prays with me and seeks God with me. He travels with me. He is the hardest and most ambitious worker I know. He makes me smile. He makes me laugh. He is the most amazing man I have ever met in my life. He is my blessing, the best gift I've ever received. My wonderful husband ... I love you, Monte!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

This is something that I feel God is trying to drill into my heart - and something that I am really struggling with. In so many ways in the last two weeks I have felt Him telling me to have faith, to truly believe. Where am I lacking faith? Ever since my miscarriage, I am truly doubting my body's ability to carry a baby to full term. Ridiculous, I know, but it's a fear that is haunting me and almost making me scared to be pregnant again. That being said, in the last couple of weeks, I have heard many sermons about the need to prepare myself for the baby and to expect the baby. Like the man who was praying for rain - God said he would bring it and so one man prepared his fields for it, while the other did not. I need to prepare my fields. I truly believe that part of that is really making my body ready - no more occasional glasses of wine, cutting down to caffeine free coffee in the morning, that sort of thing. The other is truly believing. God had spoken to me through something I read in my Bible this past week, saying that faith is not seeing the end result and then believing, but it is believing that it is going to happen before it happens. I really need to work on this. So my request is one that is a typical request of me, please keep me in your prayers. Please pray that I will be able to overcome this obstacle of fear and doubt and instead that I will be excited to bring another baby into our home. Monte and I have talked many times about having another child, and I finally was to the point that I was extremely excited about it -- and I lost the baby. I just fear that it will happen again. I know I need to start speaking the truth to my body - speaking that I will carry a healthy baby to term and have a huge blessing in my life by doing so. Faith comes by hearing - and hearing by speaking it aloud, right?! Slightly misquoted, but you get my point.

Thank you for the prayers - my three-year-old is ready for breakfast, so I need to tend to him!

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's completely true. For as long as I can remember, the only thing I ever really wanted to be was a wife and a mom. Sure, I can go to college and get a degree and waste my time (not saying that I think college is a bad idea, I'm just saying that it was never where I saw myself going) ... but why do that when I know I'm going to be a stay-at-home mom forever. It was the desire of my heart and I knew that it was going to be true. This is why, when I was 21, single and working a job that hardly paid anything, I was baffled at how my plan had gone wrong! Why would my heart so strongly desire to be a homemaker when the reality of it seemed so far away that there was no chance I was going to reach it?

The one thing I continually leaned on was the verse in the Bible that says God will give you the desires of your heart. I heard a sermon right around age 21 that really stuck with me - that God gives you the desires of your heart because He has placed those desires within you. Granted, I'm not talking about material things or anything that does not go with the will of God, I'm talking about those things deep inside of you that you are so very passionate about. Being a wife and a mom was one of those things for me - the other was working in youth ministry. God granted the second really quickly, and I have had the privilege of working in several youth groups and being involved in the lives of many teens (and hopefully making an impact in their lives, too!). The youth ministry I had been involved in has been just awesome, and I was continually thanking God for it - though I was still asking one question: WHERE IS MY FUTURE HUSBAND?! Wasn't this part of His plan, too?! C'mon God ... I'm growing impatient.

For awhile, I sought out relationships, fully taking control of the situation into my own hands. I figured, God MUST have put these men in my life for me to see if I can marry them, right? WRONG. It wasn't until I gave up completely - relinquished all control of my love life to God - that the man of my dreams walked into my life and I fell in love to a degree that I had never known love. It was when I stopped looking for love that God planted it right in front of me and gave me no option but to unconditionally love.

Here I am almost a year later, 25 years old, married to this absolutely phenomenal man. I now know the reality of unconditional love and believe that, through my relationship with my husband, I am learning more deeply about the love that God has for me. On top of all of this, I have been given the most amazing gift of being able to stay home and care for my four step-children and to be an impactful part of their lives.

When I look at all of this, I realize one thing: God made my dreams come true and He gave me the desires of my heart. What an amazing Savior I serve!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I'm sitting in sunny Arizona visiting my in-laws (along with my step-son, Colin) and am having the time of my life! So why am I asking for your prayers? Because, just a few days ago, I had a miscarriage and we lost our baby. It's a really difficult thing to try to get through, especially when I'm so far away from my Monte. Please keep our family in your prayers, it's much appreciated!

Rejoice in the Lord always, my soul, and again I say REJOICE ....... This is the day that the Lord has made, let us REJOICE and be glad in it! -- I'm not sure why it happened, but I do know that God is in control and He knows why. Because of that, I know that someday soon, I will rejoice!!