Well, after much discussion with my loving husband, we decided that this is going to be the last round. Due to the fact that I already have Clomid in my refrigerator that is waiting to be taken, we decided we will try one more time. We will go the medical route, go in for the ultrasound to see if I can even TAKE the Clomid, yadda yadda yadda ... to the end result of whatever happens.
Truth be told, I'm just frustrated with the process. Yes, my heart definitely desires to have a baby - but at this point I'm done trying ... medically speaking, anyway. I will go through my next couple of appointments and then I'm just done.
You see, something in me really feels like I've already been incredibly blessed with four children, so why not enjoy them to the fullest right now? If and when God decides that Monte and I get to have another baby, that is the time that we'll get pregnant. While my heart screams and wants so badly for that time to be now, I know that the situation is not in my hands. It's in God's. So, due to the extreme emotions I experience and due to the extreme expense of all of this (even with the great insurance coverage that we now have, it's crazy expensive!), after these upcoming appointments I will no longer be going through fertility treatments.
It will be me, Monte and God. And only in God's timing will everything work.
And I think I'm okay with that.
